8 Lessons I Learned In Chapter 38 That Will Make Me A Better Woman During Chapter 39

Maui Bigelow Curator of PHAT Girl Fresh(insert twerk) IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!! Yes, the 39th anniversary of the day God blessed the world with something beautiful and grand! LOL!! I know, I know, I sound really full of myself and guess what… I AM! Why wouldn’t I be, life is great and I am blessed to be able to turn the pages on chapter 38 and begin chapter 39.

I have heard so many times that, “a woman never tells her age” and honestly, there are a lot of women in my family who live by that. Hell for most of my life, my Nanny (maternal grandmother) claimed to be 30 years old. That game went on until I was 30 years old and was like, “Nanny cut it out… We are not the same age!” I just don’t get it, why is there such shame with women aging and such honor with men? Aren’t all of our lives about growth and isn’t aging a part of that growth?Maui Bigelow Curator of PHAT Girl Fresh

Personally, I am proud of the growth that I have experienced during these years. I have to be honest, all of the years have not been kind to me but I made it and I learned from every moment. I am also thankful that I when I look in the mirror and when others look at me, they don’t see the pain and adversity; they see the purpose, the potential and the pretty (So damn pretty) LOL! So yeah, I acknowledge with pride that I am officially 39 years old.

Chapter 38 brought me to a place of greater understanding, my eyes opened to many truths and those realizations made me unapologetically assert myself. While chapter 38 was eye opening, it was not without a hiccup here or there but even in those moments, I became greater because I learned things that I will carry with me forever in an effort to be a better woman.

You know that I am all about sharing the knowledge, so allow me to do just that. I want to share with you a couple of lessons that I will definitely keep in mind during chapter 39.


  1. Stop wearing the mask! For most of my life, I have worn the mask. I pretended that things were good and I was good when I wasn’t. Now I know, that it is my prerogative to feel how I want to feel and express those feelings. Oh, and it feels damn good!

  2. Put the car in drive! I existed with my car in park for a long time. I was hesitant to experience all that life had for me. However, I realized that even if you are parked in a nice spot; you can’t go or experience anything else until you put the car in drive and press the gas. There are too many amazing things in the world for you to settle for a couple. Ride off into the sunset and absorb every moment and opportunity along the way.

  3. It is okay not to be everyone’s cup of tea! I can remember being bothered because people didn’t like me or vibe well with me, I thought that it was a negative reflection of who I was. However, now I know better. People have preferences and that is their right, hell we all should have them… I sure do! With that in mind, I am cool with not being everyone’s cup of tea because I am not offering everyone a sip.

  4. Some hesitation is fear. Fear shows up in many forms, one form is hesitation. Some time we hesitate due to better judgement and other times it is fear. Sadly, I have missed several opportunities all because I was hesitant to move forward or reach out. It is so important to recognize fear, call it out and overcome it because you are greater.Maui Bigelow Curator of PHAT Girl Fresh

  5. People are who they are! Lord knows I have spent too much time and energy trying to make people be better than they were. I had to learn the hard way that you either meet people where they are at or leave them where they are at. It is not your place to change anyone, change comes with individual growth and just because you are in a certain place doesn’t mean they are or should be. It is your choice to take it or leave it.

  6. It is okay to say no… PERIOD!

  7. Being selfish is not always bad. There are times when you have to step away from everything and everyone and do you. Yes, it can be or seem selfish but I may be vital to assuring that you are in a good place mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

  8. I am not a bag lady! Harboring ill feelings, attaching myself to other people’s drama and carrying people that needed to be dropped are all things that I was guilty of but not anymore! I found myself weighed down with too much crap and most of it wasn’t mine. It is hard to go to the next level when you can hardly move due to the dead weight. Listen, God isn’t Fred Sanford, meaning he doesn’t deal in junk; he doesn’t have to bless your mess.


My Style JournalMaui Bigelow Curator of PHAT Girl Fresh

Dress: Lane Bryant (Similar HERE)

Shoes: Torrid 

Accessories: Articulate Fashions 

Confidence: I GET IT FROM MY MAMA!

Are you ladies okay with sharing your age? If not why? What life lessons do you carry with you? Chime in ladies!


1 Comment

  1. July 14, 2016 / 6:32 pm

    No is a complete sentence! So true. 🙂