Hey PHAT Girls, happy PHAT girl Friday!
In my life, there have been many things that I didn’t like or wanted to change about myself, being a black woman has never been one of those things. At an early age, I learned to appreciate the strength and wisdom of black women. I watched as the women around me worked hard and prayed even harder, despite their circumstances. As a young girl who didn’t have the best of everything or the worst of anything, this gave me hope that I could do all things.
It is no question that my foundation is what made me who I am. That foundation was laid by strong women like my mother, my Bigmama, my aunt Carolynn, my Nannie, my cousin Bev and my Godmother’s Gladys Moore and Yvonne Morris; while none of these women were alike, they were all great. As they carried me through different times in my life, I borrowed from them what I felt I needed to become the woman God created me to be.Yes, I have been awake to my purpose and potential for most of my life and although I set silently, something brewed in me and it is no question that I got it from my mama.
Now when I say mama, I am not talking just literally, I am talking about all of the women who nurtured me and planted seeds in my life. Like many of the amazing black women I know, there was a village of women who sprinkled their #blackgirlmagic to assure that we became the women we are. I know this to be the truth of many black women and girls because I see it and hear the stories daily. Grandmothers, aunties, and a host of other women ushering young girls into womanhood and providing them with the strong foundation needed to be great and sprinkle their own #blackgirlmagic.
For those who don’t know, the truth about #blackgirlmagic is that we all have it, we just have to tap into it. It doesn’t mean we are perfect or with flaws and issues, it means that despite those issues we are great. I know black women with all kinds of demons living in what is considered darkness but at some point, their light shines; even if that light has to shine through their daughters, nieces or other girls/women who they have touched.
In honor of Mother’s Day and as a celebration of #blackgirlmagic, myself and 3 of my favorite black girls are sharing a little love and truth. Not about ourselves but about the foundation that was laid and the foundations we are laying. We want you to know and appreciate the real truth about the women we are, the women who nurtured us and the future women we are grooming.
Shaina Harrison, Cornerrich.com
Mother’s Day has always been pretty difficult to celebrate in my household. I was raised by a strong Grandmother who stepped up and stepped in when my mom was dealing with substance abuse. I will forever be grateful for the sacrifices my Grandmother made to ensure my sister and I had some type of normal life without the presence of either of our parents. My mother Elaine Harrison was my heart. Even with the trauma drug abuse left on our relationship I still fought so hard to save a place for her. I needed to save a place for her. She tried hard turning over a new leaf after coming out of rehab. As a young person I battled with demons which left me feeling alone and unloved. I couldn’t understand how a person could choose their addiction over their children. My relationship with my mom was such a huge burden to bare in my early years. I was angry, confused and too young to understand the power that addiction had on black families.
As I transitioned into an adult I was determined to understand my mothers trauma. Throughout my journey I learned so many things about my mothers childhood and why she made some of her decisions. Even though I didn’t agree with them I understood her. Sometimes that’s all it takes. Loving a person with an illness you cannot see takes strength. Honestly how can you hate someone when you now their truth. Their story. It’s weird how hers was so similar to mine. My determination for building a relationship with my mom despite her faults broke the hold addiction had on her. See love is stronger than any addiction. I’m not necessary saying she gave up anything however she embraced the idea of trying. My mom was a fighter. Some would look at her as weak. Shes been to over 38 rehabilitation clinics in her lifetime. However their isn’t anything weak about someone who gets knocks down that much and keeps trying. Her journey, our journey has inspired me in so many ways. I now know what unconditional loves feels like. I know what real strengths looks like. Me and my younger sister are joined at the hip. I know the meaning of family. We share her resilience. Despite her faults she’s always voiced how proud and lucky she was to have such an understanding daughter. My mom gave me the biggest heart. Even though she passed down her high check bones and almond shape eyes the biggest gift I ever received from her is the ability to connect. Because of her I am a healer. My mother taught me how to forgive. How to lean on God, compassion and empathy.
My mom passed away two years ago. I look back on our journey with pride that may confuse many. My mother was a solider fighting a war just like may other mothers. I am blessed she passed down all of her armor to me.
Chamonda Rush, Entrepreneur
My mom and I didn’t always get along, when I was growing up I was hard headed and begged her to let me make my own mistakes. She was a single mom of two kids and boy oh boy she was and still is a tough cookie. No matter how hard things got my mom never showed me and my brother her sweat, she handled her business. All the while I was a fast behind knucklehead my mom taught me how to keep it “ladylike” at all times. One thing I’ll never forget… She taught me to respect myself, command respect, and keep my faith in God no matter what. I love my mother and I have grown to be her “faith walker!” I don’t know where will I be without God and my mom.
Chante’ Burkett, Everythingcurvyandchic.com
A defining moment between my daughter and I was when she was 3 and I went to teach her how to braid, in less than 30mins she caught on. I knew from that moment she was a mini me and I had to watch everything I did around her . Around the same age my mom had taught me how to braid which lead me to cosmetology school just like my mother had went (I was my moms mini me) … Just to know that we have the similar hobbies makes me smile.